How Do You Know When to Leave Your Job?
I met Lisbeth in a yoga studio in Copenhagen, on one of my first visits to the city. I walked in, heard Mexican music playing, which you do not often hear in a Danish studio, asked about it, and we have been friends ever since. She is one of the most quietly courageous people I know, and when she joined our community as a guest, she told the story of the day she decided to leave her career as a social worker.
She flipped a coin. In her own office. The coin said quit, and she did. But the longer she talked, the clearer it became that the coin decided nothing at all, and that is exactly why her story is worth your time if you are standing at your own crossroads. You can watch our full conversation below, or read what stayed with me.
▶ Watch the full conversation with Lisbeth: Slow MasterMind with Lisbeth Moseholm on Dynamic Growth
How do you know when it is time to leave your job?
For Lisbeth, the signal was not hatred of her work. She loved the work. She was a social worker supporting young people in difficult circumstances, and it was her passion. The signal was that the structure around the work was draining the very energy she wanted to give. Too many office hours, too many decisions she could not stand behind, too little room to actually help. She had so much to give and no channel wide enough to give it through.
“Even though it was scary, I knew I would find my way, because it felt right in my heart.”
That is the honest test, and it is quieter than a coin. Not, do I hate this job? But, does the way I am working let me give what I actually have? When the answer is no for long enough, the decision starts making itself. The coin flip was just the moment she stopped negotiating with an answer she already had. And notice what she did next. She did not leap into nothing. She took work to save money, taught in other people's studios first, and moved to a smaller apartment. The heart made the call. The plan made it possible.
How do you handle the fear of starting something new?
Lisbeth still feels fear, and I find that comforting. Before a retreat she wonders if anyone will buy a ticket. After a class she can still catch the thought that a student's email must be a complaint. Successful people do not have fewer fearful thoughts. They give them less authority.
“The fear is always there. We just have to decide if we want to give it a spotlight.”
Her method when fear rises is to return to one question: why am I doing this? Her answer is that yoga changed her life and she wants to share it. That comes from a good place, no one gets hurt, and so the fear can ride along without driving. She also had a lovely, stubborn piece of logic: if I truly believed no one would ever come and I was the worst teacher in the world, I should do something else. Since I am still here, some part of me clearly believes. Let that part lead.
When should you let go of an idea?
This might be the bravest part of her story, because we celebrate persistence and rarely talk about its shadow. Lisbeth once set her heart on opening a yoga studio. She pushed and pushed. Her business partner left. The finances would not come together. She was so consumed by the search that she was hit by a car while cycling between viewings, hurt her knee, and still did not pause. Everything around the idea had turned to struggle, and she kept going anyway.
What finally stopped her was not the obstacles. It was noticing that she had lost the why. The idea had begun in friendship and excitement, and by the end it ran on pride alone. She was finishing it because she had announced it, not because she wanted it.
“I was obsessed with the idea, and in the end it did not work out, and I am so grateful it did not.”
Her rule now is about energy. When a path is hers, things flow. Not without effort, but the effort gives energy back. When a path is not hers, everything becomes friction. So she holds her ideas more lightly, shares them, works on them, and lets go of the grip. If it is meant for her, it comes back around, usually at a better time.
If you are holding a decision like this and cannot tell pride from purpose, it is one of my favourite conversations to have. Book a call with me when you are ready.
Do you have to quit all at once?
No, and Lisbeth is clear about this. Her leap looked sudden from the outside, but underneath it was staged. She banked savings. She taught in established studios to build experience and a small community before setting up her own classes and retreats. She adjusted her living costs to lower the pressure. And before deciding anything big, she shared the idea with a few people who knew her well, not for permission, but because saying it out loud showed her how sure she really was.
The order of operations matters. The inner decision comes first. The outer transition can be as gradual as your responsibilities require. What does not work is the reverse, staying inwardly undecided for years while calling it prudence.
What does success actually mean?
Lisbeth's definition has nothing to do with studios, follower counts or comparison. Success is waking up excited about how she spends the hours of her life. She admitted she once measured herself against classmates from her teacher training, feeling a step behind because she went travelling while they built careers at home. It took years to see that her detour to Mexico was not falling behind. It was her path, and it made her who she is.
She borrowed a phrase I have repeated ever since: eyes on your own paper. Someone else having two houses or twice the clients tells you nothing about your life. If more time with her daughter means fewer retreats next year, and that makes her happy, then that is success. The benchmark was never out there.
How to practice this in an ordinary week
Write the honest sentence: does the way I currently work let me give what I have? Do not solve it yet. Just answer it truthfully.
Pick one idea you are gripping and check the why. If you can no longer find it, ask whether pride has replaced purpose.
Tell one trusted person about the change you are considering. Listen to how you sound saying it out loud.
Do the arithmetic. Savings, monthly needs, the smallest version of the leap. Courage gets much easier with a plan under it.
Where this might not hold
Please do not quit your job on a coin flip because of this article. Lisbeth would say the same. She had savings, no dependents at the time, skills that could earn along the way, and a plan she built quickly around the decision. If people rely on your income, the honest move might be a staged exit over a year rather than a leap. The inner question is universal. The timeline is personal.
A few questions I hear often
Should I quit my job before my new path makes money?
Usually not without a cushion. Lisbeth saved first, kept teaching in studios for stability, and lowered her living costs. A common rule of thumb is several months of expenses set aside before you leap. The decision can be made in your heart long before the resignation letter is sent.
What if everyone tells me it is irresponsible?
Expect it, and listen for what is underneath. Sometimes it is wisdom about your finances worth hearing. Often it is other people's fear of change, or their worry about how your change affects them. Lisbeth's mother would have said wait until you have another job, and that would have been reasonable, and also not the answer that was true for her.
How do I know if fear is a warning or just fear?
Check what it is pointing at. Fear about logistics, money, timing, is useful and answerable with a plan. Fear that only says who are you to try is just noise with your voice. Lisbeth's test is the why: if the reason comes from a good place and still excites you, the fear is a passenger, not a verdict.
What if I try and it does not work?
Then you will be in the company of almost everyone who ever built anything. Lisbeth's failed studio became one of her most valuable teachers, and she is grateful it collapsed. The genuinely expensive outcome is not failing. It is spending a decade wondering.
What does gratitude have to do with any of this?
More than I expected. Lisbeth calls gratitude her vitamin. It is what keeps a hard season from becoming a bitter one, and it is what keeps success from turning into endless comparison. Wherever you are in the transition, it is the practice that keeps you sane inside it.
The coin was never the point
Lisbeth did not outsource her life to chance that day in her office. She used a spinning coin to hear what her heart shouted while it was in the air. Most of us already know our answer too. The work is admitting it, and then building the bridge to walk there safely.
Helping leaders hear that answer, and build that bridge, is what we do at The Simplified Model. If you are standing at your own crossroads, book a conversation with me whenever you feel ready.
Related reading: our conversation with Ken on why following your passion is not enough, and how do calm people stay calm.
